by Brian Sylvia

Published by special arrangement with Eldridge Publishing Company

Presented by The Promise Players

Saturday afternoon, November 15 at Lampeter Church of the Brethren

Proceeds will benefit Love, Inc.

The play opened with church secretary Robyn Handler answering the phone with a VERY long identification of their church which was required by the former pastor of this small rural church. The new pastor Vince Valentine listens patiently with a bit of amusement.

Church janitor Jingles Bradshaw looking over and commenting on the list of instructions from Robyn, making it obvious that he does not always comprehend instructions. Included in the instructions was cleaning up the fellowship hall because the women’s society had a meeting there the night before.

Check out the look on his face. We saw that confused look many times throughout the play. He had a unique understanding of the English language.

He soon came back with a crocheted American flag which was left in the fellowship hall.

Pastor Valentine looked at it with curiosity while Jingles explained where he found it.

Jingles got his name from the many keys he carried on his keychain.

Their day was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of lawyer Micah Tasker who informed them that the congregation may inherit six million dollars from a longtime church member who passed away. The inheritance came with a peculiar condition: the church must care for McDermott’s three prize hogs.

Everyone was surprised! SIX MILLION DOLLARS!! As the stage darkened, they were deciding what to do with six million dollars and three pigs. It was eventually decided that the hogs would be secured in the fenced-in church playground.

Church secretary Robyn could do a great impression of Pearl June’s hoity toity accent, which soon came in handy as they attempted to keep the senator distracted from the swine. Notice the addition of her gray wig.

The church’s most influential member, Pearl June Carbuckle had arranged to meet a state senator at the church property that day to discuss an award for being the most civic-minded church in the region.

Oh, no, the prestigious Pearl June arrived before they had fully created a plan to keep her and the senator away from the playground which now housed three pigs.

Pearl June’s husband Quentin wandered in a bit behind her. He had trouble seeing, which caused a sequence of funny events.

Quentin looking for his glasses that fell on the floor.

Quentin is played by our friend Lanny and is the reason we learned about these delightful plays.

Suddenly it became necessary for the church secretary to use the voice of his wife Pearl June as the others were trying to distract Pearl June from the playground.

She talked to him with sweet talk which confused Quentin, because Pearl June rarely talked to him kindly.

Pearl June entered the room again, obviously upset by something.

Now Quentin is even more confused because she began her usual put downs of him.

Senator McNutt arrived amid all the confusion at the church and while everyone was trying to keep her and Pearl June away from the pigs. But Senator McNutt insisted on seeing the playground in an effort to find out if the church was eligible to receive the civic award.

The senator was perplexed as to why she couldn’t see the playground.

When Jingles made one of his usual word mistakes like: confusing the Bible book of Philippians with the country of the Philippines. Pastor said, “Don’t you ever listen to my sermons.

Jingles said, “Of course I do, but sometimes my distractor is stronger than my listener.”

All of a sudden, the sound of pigs on the loose came into the room and everyone ran outside to see what was going on.

When they came back it was obvious that the senator and Pearl June had seen the pigs!

Robyn began taking off her wig to reveal why she had been impersonating Pearl June. This is the first time they were in the room at the same time.

It was obvious that Pearl June had seen the pigs.

During the chaos, Robyn continued removing her wig while trying to explain everything. (I didn’t notice until looking at this picture that Pearl June was missing a shoe.)

To add to all that was going on, the lawyer returned to let them know someone else was getting most of the six million dollars – and they were equipped to keep the hogs.

The church was still going to receive about $750.00.

But it was soon revealed that the $750 would be gone because it would cost that much to clean up what the hogs had damaged.

Of course, Pearl June was dismayed when learning about this.

Curtain call

These actors did an excellent job of portraying their character. I can’t imagine anyone else fitting their role.

It was fun having an afternoon of laughter as we followed this drama.